Is there such thing as two wives?

In this day and age men are getting rid of their diamond for a girl that's all about showing them a good time. I say that they have commitment issues but that's not the case. What makes a man really go outside of their relationship to become a statistic. We as females should never settle for less than what we deserve. But lets face it all the good men left in this world is either gay or just very nerdy. Its really hard to find true love. With girls having to be more than hoes to attract a semi decent guy is very disgusting to me. The concept of having two wives came to me when I was watching a show called love and hip hop. This guy name peter gunz made me think it is possible. You can be with someone for years and you guys live together and grow as a man and wife should. Then he went off in another relationship which he did put a ring on it. By law they were husband and wife but he treated her like she wasn't nothing but a side hoe. So you see their is a certain twist to the plot where he had his legally on papers in gods eye wife and the other girl who he loved and treated her like an actual wife rather than his wife. So sometimes there can be a side track to everything we believe in days. Treat me like your all everything one and only queen when were just a couple and treat me like that and more once we made things official in the hands of the lord. We have some women in this wold that is actually very strong and determined when their in a relationship. They will stay with their man through thick and thin.Some are for better and some are for worst. Let me explain the difference when your with a man and you are struggling financially because he is a little down on his luck and its a little rough for you guys. When the both of are living from hand to mouth because u guys are saving or just not that wealthy but it wasn't always like that and you stick it out until u guys get back on top that's an example as sticking it out for the better because everyone do fall short at times but if you can wait and be patient until u guys are good and your not with someone only for the benefits it proves that you do have wife instincts and you can hold your man down when he is slacking. Now let me explain sticking it out for the worst now. I think we both have a little hunch of what those reasons can be. Now some people been in relationships for so many years and given their all to that one person but not lets not confuse loving someone or being a fool for someone. I don't care if we have so much history together there are certain things you do not do while your in a relationship or even married. No cheating that's a big no no. If you can hurt me in the most disrespectful way and see me cry, hurt, or in pain there is no way u can possibly be my soul mate. Now I get it that is forgivable in most cases but if you cheat and have sex with someone else and there becomes a child involved that is unforgivable. Is it really hard nowadays to stay faithful to one person??? If I know you don't love me you lie hurt and cheat on me numerous times and you can't even own up to your mistakes then there can't be no healing process. That's the perfect examples of sticking it out for someone for the worst because you obviously know the man doesn't care about you or the relationship but you stay because your afraid of being lonely, starting over, or you just see past it because you love him and you don't want no one else. And that is simply fine just don't cry or complain to anyone about him because doesn't matter how much tears you shed you are never going to leave him. I guess in some ways that makes her a very attentive wife because she knows how to hide pain well and deal with every obstacle they may have face.

New life bring new changes

So this past year and some months I been through so much things. You ever heard of the expression throughout every bad situation comes a blessing at the end. Yes I would have to say that brought me true love. Man it feels great loving somebody that loves you back. Sometimes I have to question what did I do to deserve such a wonderful man like him. But sometimes I think I hear a voice inside my head saying question gods work. He work miracles. When I say I love him I'm not talking about he's just here for now. No I'm talking someone I can spend the rest of my life with. Now we have more than just a relationship we are also best friends. I love the feeling I get when I see him, call him or even text I cant go a day without seeing this man. I've never gotten love this before. I would be a fool to mess things up I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. I believe he is my soulmate. He makes me feel beautiful, loved, cherished, he makes me want to become a better person. He taught me so much in this relationship I look at life way differently than I use to. I have matured because of him. I don't ever understand how someone can hurt him at all. Now we did have problems at first but communication is a big part of making a long lasting relationship work. There is nothing we can change or solve when it comes to each other. I can write a book about finding your one true love because I really feel like I have. I don't want anyone but him. I don't think I can find better than him anyways. Nowadays guys think its cool to have multiple women, disrespect them, or just fear of commitment so they rather just play games with your heart. Nope not my man. He is everything a real man should be. Some guys that's even older than him should take notes.Yes I'm rambling about my man because I can do that and I really appreciate him with all of my well being. I want to have kids with this man and marry him in the future I would say next year but I think we both are in the process of getting our lives back on track so were good with just being together. There is not a day that goes by that I don't tell him I love him. See big commitment on my part. We been through jealous people trying to tear us apart. I am the happiest I ever been in my life. Sometimes I get scared because I feel like Hes too good for me and I might mess things up. But anything I say I can put my mind to I will do it. So yes I am going to marry the man of my dreams, and yes we are going to make the whole world mad and jealous. People can't stand for too long seeing you happy especially in your relationship. We don't care though were going to shine. We have god by our side now so anything formed against us shall not prosper. I also, think I'm getting better at compromising in any situation when it comes to us. Yes Ms Barnett sounds catchy when you say it out loud. I been through so much you never know who's really here for you until you go through some struggles and now I know that some family really aint shit. But I thank god for my experiences they make me a much stronger woman. It lets me know that I can conquer anything and move on with a big smile on my face. Yes thank you life for teaching me that lesson. When can you say I'll can past any situation that comes my way is when you know your strong and you have grown as a person. My life is still a working progress there are things that still need accomplishments and I am here to say god don't put you though anything you can't manage. Thanks again god I love you with all my heart. Yes I learn and I am a strong woman now because of you. My biggest fear is letting down the people I love so In a way I still don't know how to fully focus on myself. The things I want to accomplish are the same goals my loved ones want for me. So yeah I cant let myself down. I just want to live comfortable explore the world with my baby and our family. God is that too much too ask for. Let me know I can drop a few things.time is too precious to be holding grudges and being mad at petty small things that can be easily fixed. People give up too easily and that's why we can never be happy. It can be a relationship, a job, a family issue or just life itself. Bad times make you tough and strong. Some people too scared to see the day though knowing it might just bring them shades of happiness. When you throw away the gift that god gave you that's when god say im going to teach you a rough and hard life. Yes forgiveness is a major part of growing but when the hurt cut so deep how can you ever be the same afterwards. I say life bring changes and growth its all apart of life and knowing a child from an adult. You see there is a saying that says life would be dull if everything and everyone were all the same that's why we have black, white , animal, human etc you catch my drift. That's why she should always want a change at some point in your life.

Life still not fufilling

The voices that you hear inside your head is sometimes bad.
When you hear negative that's the voice you don't need to be listening.
when the wisdom of knowledge exceeds in your head its hard to realize that you have said something wrong
why cant we live in the moment sometimes instead of researching right or wrong answers
can the faith of something you love really be deadly
the time spent wasting on your mind because you wanna listen to somebody Else's statement
people never want to stand by their own creativity
we want to fit in the crowd but not stand out like being different is such a bad thing
wasting someone time could be a bad thing a very bad thing because you can be doing something very
productive with yourself
people fail to realize that you have yourself first before anybody else
so why be something your not its only insulting a lot more because your betraying your identity
people don't like their own names and want to have someone Else's name another betrayal
let ur name and your spirit be unique and not just another same

mirror mirror

Mirror mirror when they hate me all I do is laugh
mirror mirror seems to me that people have a lot of invisible haters
Mirror mirror my reflection you see isn't as clear as can be
Mirror mirror I wish i had wings so I can fly across the sea
Mirror mirror can birds talk, trees sing, seas stand still and tall in the ocean
Mirror mirror aren't I the prettiest picture u ever seen
Mirror mirror can thots really be wifed up and players settle down with one girl
Mirror mirror if Michael didn't die will he still be making song and touring around the world
Mirror mirror can the government be controlled by the devil or is that only Christians believes
Mirror mirror if I smile tomorrow and frown today does that still make me a happy person

the downside to living life

Do life really have any meaning? Are we living just to die? Do we even have more purpose of being alive than animals really do think about it when we kill animals its because we need them to survive we eat them..... If the tables was ever turned do you think animals would need us to survive? or just kill their own kind and eat them? Were not even useful to animals like they are to us?? people make it a big deal when their just consumed with time and existing but not their own reality. I can tell you something from the heart but how do u really know its genuine or not because I think I have to do something in order just to make you happy? Can time fly? It can change but it can't fly........ Why spend so much time trying to accomplish one particular goal when u can have many it's not a guarantee you're going to get the job you want so strive for many that way you're always satisfied with life and always aiming to be the best you can be. How do u know your good at something if you don't try or work towards it. Why can't you directly see meaning vision your progression but you know your progressing. In this day and change why is it always a consistent battle of success in the young generation today? People make it seem like it's so bad to achieve anything in life but when your stagnant in your life you get taunted and shameful because people say its bad that your not doing anything in your life. Why we tear each other down instead of lifting them up there's so many people suffering from poverty and people always talk about what a big disgrace it is but nobody is doing anything about it. Come up with a campaign about helping people out that's on the streets make a process of giving them jobs but I mean its not our place to take care of other people the whole point I'm saying if your not willing to help the cause then don't address the issue. We come to the point where some people cannot be happy in their own skin unless they know somebody is doing lower than them Can we really say that were living in unfair times?? Why is it OK for young people to become parents and take care of another human being when their still a child themselves?? But when the topic is about giving all your life to someone you love and doing things the right way so your kids have a relationship to look up to all of a sudden your too young?? Too young for marriage?? Being in a committed relationship with one person and not different different people because that's not how you was raised?? But caring for a child is OK?? Having unprotected sex with people you hardly know is OK?? Is this the message were really sending the next generation?? Then when the world is corrupted we have nobody to blame but ourselves because we want to do things the wrong way...... We spend so much time looking for the wrong things that we forget we only have one life to live and how u live it reflects u and god your creator. Will make your success suffer just because your relationship is not going good?? is live more important than being established?? Can you pay your bills with love?? will you spend a year in a bad relationship so that you can have money??..... People confuse the two but I guess happiness beat every obstacles in your life right.

Rambling thoughts

Ask yourself this question Why am I hear on this earth. I think you can't really answer this question until life comes down and knocks you off your feet. Why do we seize to exit only to be kept in a world where mental slavery still exits. Asking god why do bad things happen to me is also another question only answered by struggling. I once asked god this question when I was younger why did god made African American experience slavery. Did we do something he didn't like as an entire race? These are questions that still go answered. I love the certainty of not knowing sometimes because I love the excitement and joy I will face just by going through everyday life struggles. Call me crazy some would ask why I love to struggle but I tell them. I simply enjoy learning life lessons. Why must we have black white, and different. Again another question goes unanswered. I love my brown skin. Why must we have flaws. I love looking at my imperfections. They make me seem more desirable to the human eye. Does this blog have one particular topic. No because free speech is saying anything that comes to mind. Why do we have protectors that cause more corruption than the rest of us. Everything has a good and a bad that's just the nature of man kind. Why must we spend our whole life journey finding love when most of the world was born alone. Do we truly need someone else to be happy why cant we just be happy with ourselves. The answer to that also is found through struggle. The mind is a terrible thing to waste  but some don't even use it. They use their hormones. (Well adults) mostly. Why something that taste so good be so unhealthy for us and causing us to die at a early age. Walking through the woods alone late at night, and you already know what can happen. When it happens do you truly deserve what you get. No its called the wonders of the mind. Are toxic relationships healthy for you. NO. Can love truly blind you so you take anything from anyone. Why isn't this blog just about one particular topic? Well its called free thinking so there is no limit to anything I write. I will not have bondage chained against my free will. Why limit myself when there is a lot to discuss in this world. I love expressing myself. Why is the world round, why can't it be triangle square, rectangle, star, octagon etc. Only god knows. Why do we wear clothes when we were all born as a naked fetus. Why does the world frown upon nudists when all their trying to do is creating a statement we come as we were born. What is really an age to start planning your future I say 25 but others think otherwise.

Be Real to me

The time that we spend with each other i never knew you was this shallow. Lying and being deceiving is not the way to be real. Saying you love me and every other girl is not being real. Whispering to me that you want me and only me when you calling another girl is not being real. I cant stand the way you look at me anymore. The lies and the passion isn't there like it use to be because of one lie. All the lies you tell add up and turns you into a monster maybe its you i should thank because if you didn't lie to me i wouldn't know what real feels like from another guy. The type of people that cant be true are the people i don't want in my life anyway cause if i cant trust you there are no reason for you to be in my life anyway. Sometimes i wish you would get run over by a train, a car, get thrown out of a window, get mauled by a tiger or extremely large blood thirsty animal. The things that i did for you and you betrayed me in the worst way. This is why i cant hold down a relationship without cheating because i think that all guys are the same and always will cheat. So I continue to cheat and mess up a good thing because I'm afraid they will hurt me. the reason i cant trust any guy i get involved with because you messed me up physically and mentally. I pray that one day a girl that you call your girlfriend do to you what you did to me and worse. But then again i will never stoop down to your level and seek revenge or become you. I want to become better and the bigger person that's why I pray that god sends me someone that is 100% not like you. I love myself too much for it to become tainted. The things that i wanna do to you will make you cry if i ever told you.  I love you sooo much though because for letting me go through this experience  because i really appreciate it so much. There will become a time when i get my prince charming but i rather be alone than unhappy because i can do bad all by myself.